So, I’m getting my tonsils out on Thursday. Fun fact! When you get your tonsils out when you’re 8, it takes you about 3 days to bounce back. When you get your tonsils our when you’re 25, it takes 2-3 weeks to bounce back and you have to go on short-term disability. Apparently, my tonsils have been growing steadily (and gaining growth momentum over the past year or so) and will now leave much bigger open wounds in the back of my throat than 8-year-old tonsils. Damn.
As my surgeon told me,
"we break a lot of surgical rules we take your tonsils out. We remove something and leave a large opening of exposed muscle. Normally, we would stitch it up, wrap it so it doesn’t come in contact with anything, and apply even pressure until it’s healed. We’re going to leave your muscle exposed and not try to cover it, and we’re also not going to protect it with anything. Then, we’re going to need you to swallow and stay as hydrated as possible. It’s incredibly painful."
I will be down and out of work for at least 2 weeks. I won’t be able to eat solid food for 5 or 6 days. I’ve been prescribed liquid vicodin, as swallowing a pill will likely be too painful for me.
The good news is that people lose an average of 8-15 pounds during recovery (GOD HELP ME keep it off until my Thanksgiving trip to Maui). That, and Daniel’s parents have graciously invited me to recover for my first week in their beautiful open home with a roof top deck, as they will be in Europe. Otherwise, we were going to need to pull the mattress out of my loft space and onto the floor because there’s no way I’ll be strong enough to climb the ladder up to my loft bed. Now, I’ll be recuperating in style. Thank god.
I’m terrified. I’m scared to be put under, I’m scared of something going wrong, I’m scared of the pain, I’m so, so scared of the pain. But my tonsils have been causing me nothing but problems for the past two years and for 14 days of agony will (hopefully) eliminate morning migraines, chronic sinus problems and sleep apnea.
I’ll be developing a formal relationship with my television. I’m planning to watch the entirety of Breaking Bad. Please let me know if you have any other suggestions for TV shows to get completely engrossed in.
Everyone is required, by HazelLaw, to email me and text me hilarious things to keep my spirits up. I won’t be able to talk much, but leave me voicemails, send me videos of you dancing in your living room. Being isolated in recovering for 14 days will likely be the absolute death of me. More than the pain, I won’t have any social outlets. Which seems inconceivable. San Francisco people are all
invited begged to visit me and keep me company. Smoothies and ice cream for all.